Mayhem Rising Chapter Excerpts

     “Broken hearts or broken bones…”
    Lin parted her red lips only enough for the words to escape.
     “Does it really have to be one or the other?”
     “Yes, Gabby, it does. Every time.”
    Lin grasped the wheel tighter and repositioned herself in the seat. Beneath the hem of her short black skirt, bare thighs led to shapely calves that ended with her favorite heels. She stepped down hard on the gas, demanding more performance from the Temt8tion’s big engine. Signs dotting the edge of I-79’s surface streaked past. She felt she and her car were being sucked into a tunnel carved out between hard pavement and low clouds.
     “I’m exaggerating, of course. I’ve never broken anyone’s bones.”
     “Hearts, though.”
     “Oh yeah.”
     Lin laughed lightly and relaxed her hold, but she continued to stare straight ahead.
     “Do you enjoy dressing like this? There’s been a big change in your clothing the last couple of months.”
     “Yeah, I like it. This feels like the new me. Or, I should say, the real me. I’ve had enough of downplaying myself. Why hide it?”
     “You definitely have a style, now. Very memorable.”
     “You might not remember, Gabby, but about a year ago you made a comment about my unimaginative outfit, I forget which one. You weren’t being mean – I can’t imagine you ever would – but it hit a nerve somehow. Starting then I became more and more tired of the old look.”
     “Well, whatever prompted the change, you should know you look great. And I haven’t seen you with a chocolate bar in a while, either.”
     “Nope, that had to stop.”
     Lin knew she appeared dressed to kill, but killing shouldn’t be part of the job.
     The car seemed to glide just over the pavement as it cut through the still air. Its black leather seats kept her posture perfect, accentuating her striking curves. The gleaming Oblivion Black paint made a stunning backdrop on days when she dressed in black. She knew they made quite a pair.
     “It might go easy this time. Maybe no one needs to get hurt. Hearts or bones.”
    “You’re probably right, Gabby. You usually are. I’m just tense. I know I am. I need to get this assignment behind me and back off a while. There’s sunshine and better times waiting for me after this.”
    “Do you really need this part-time job of yours?”
     “Gabby, I like working at the vet’s office, but it doesn’t cover everything. So this is what I do, along with an acting gig when I can get one. You know I don’t have a flashy lifestyle.”
     “Except for your car?”
     “Yeah, it ain’t cheap. But a girl’s gotta have some fun too.”
     Lin watched the road vanish beneath the leading edge of the hood, and she noticed her hands cramping from her tight grip on the wheel.
     “Maybe I’m getting too old for this, Gabby. Or too tired.”
     As she took one hand off the wheel to shake the tension out of it, she said, “We’ll be there soon, and remember, I’d rather you not be in the line of fire. Well, so to speak – I don’t expect any violence. I’ll meet up with you when it’s over, okay?”
     “Sure, Lin. Just remember, I’m here to help. I can do more than just keep you company.”
     “I know, Gabby. God, what a friend you’ve been. A real angel. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
     Lin returned her hand to the steering wheel and shook the other.
     With only a couple of miles before Erie, she’d fallen into silence.
     I just need to get this behind me, she thought. This should be routine, like every other time. No need for broken bones. Not even a broken heart.
     A break in the cloud cover gave Lin a moment of optimism, as stray bits of sunshine sped through fast-closing openings in the clouds. Seconds later, they were awash in sunlight, as the blue sky became an unbroken ceiling above the racing black car.
     Maybe this will all go well, she thought, and she wondered if she needed to worry so much. She knew she could handle the job, like she had so many times before.
     As Lin maneuvered her car to head west on Route 5, she noticed first that the light began fading all around, with the cloud cover reclaiming the sky. Her eyes fixed for a second on the churning, swollen storm rolling in over the lake from the northwest. The darkness spread and the wind came to life, creating swirls of leaves and trash. She tried to remember that it was to be expected in early November.
     Lin flicked back her long blond hair, and a look of uncompromising determination set in her green eyes.

        When she leaned over the bar to give the tattooed bartender her order, it was with complete awareness that her skirt was riding up. And she knew exactly what effect that had. She waited for her drink, swaying her hips to the music, brushing her hair back, appearing to be nothing more than a lonely woman looking for company. She glanced around the room casually then held her target’s gaze for a second, before she turned back to offer a smile as the barkeep wiped up a spill and set her glass down.
     She didn’t have to wait long. Within seconds her quarry stood beside her, offering to buy the next round.
     “Are you a model or something?”
     “Oh, I’m something, that’s for sure…”

     So Ben went back to face that day, with five shots of whiskey as a cushion. Every little detail burned its way through his brain, right alongside the alcohol. He felt every bit of the pain, the fear, the humiliation. The wonder.
     It had been so long since he’d thought of that day. Whenever it got close, he’d drink until it got shoved back where it belonged. But this day, after Luanne had thrown it back in his face, he couldn’t hide from it any longer.
     The big man sat at the bar, sobbing quietly and staring at his shot glass. A trickle of a tear collected road dust from his cheek on the way down to his chin, where it hung for a moment before dripping onto the bar.

     “All I did was black out. It’s probably nothing. I shouldn’t even have brought it up.”
     “What if it’s not ‘nothing?’”
     Lin’s manicured fingers wrapped around the wheel, strangling it, keeping the car rocketing south.
     “You’re probably right, Gabby. I probably have a lot to figure out. But that, that blacking out, that’s…I don’t know. It scares me. And I know it sounds weird, but I’m fascinated by it too.”

     “He’s either fearless, or stupid. Gabby, what the hell am I supposed to do?”
     “What if he had a bounty on his head? What would you do?”
     “He’d be face down, cuffed and eating gravel, that’s what I’d do.”
     “Well, no need for ‘broken bones,’ Lin. But you’d handle it, right?”
     Lin looked down from the mirror, grabbed her pepper spray and cuffs, and sighed deeply.
     “Gabby…”
     “I’m sure you’ll be fine, Lin.”

     “Uncle Ray was waiting and was genuinely happy to see me. Of course he was, the evil pervert. As he walked toward me, his boots clicking on the wood floor, the room seemed to rush at me. Like I was falling into it. The last I remember was the look in his eyes, a look I’d never seen before. No living thing should ever look that terrified. Then it all went black.
     “When I woke up, my world had changed. Ray had changed. Ray never bothered me again.”

     Lin had never married, but she did have a brief involvement with a young actor she’d met at an open audition in New York City. He was sweet and harmless, and months after she’d told him his audition was over, Lin welcomed a daughter to her world.
     Back in her car, she thought briefly that she should have confronted the man and held him to his half of the responsibility. She’d gone to extreme measures to pay the bills, and whatever Ronnie could contribute would help.
     She brought the engine to life and set the air conditioning on high. The unbroken canopy of the live oaks held the sun’s rays back, but the air swelled with water and felt too thick to breathe.

     After many long minutes of staring blankly at the ceiling, she felt like her eyes had finally opened to something shockingly obvious, and she put a name to it – “mayhem.” Those were moments of mayhem – the confusion of her senses, the memories that didn’t make sense, and the unexplainable, sometimes bloody results. Mayhem. Lin saw clearly for the first time that she carried mayhem within her.
     Giving it a name helped.
     But while watching the ceiling stare back at her mutely and hoping to feel better, she realized it didn’t help much.

     The waves barely showed themselves, and Lin imagined they were comfortable being part of that almost infinite field of water. They could pop up here and there, look around, and retreat back to the obscurity of the vastness, remaining unidentifiable if they desired. They were never separate from the ocean.
     Not so easy for people, she thought. We’re completely separate all the time. We’re individuals, for better or worse, whether we want it or not. We have our occasional moments of closeness to others, and sometimes we feel we’re part of nature. But at the end of the day, our thoughts are our own, and it’s rare that anyone can help us deal with them. Is there an ocean for us too? To what vastness are we connected?

     Then it struck, the second beam of bright light in a day: the junk mail the previous week included a letter about their old high school. He laughed at the realization that it must still be in the house with all the other garbage.
     He was well aware of the years going past – more than thirty of them. He’d opened the envelope and laughed at the invitation. What fool holds a class reunion in November? If she were still around, maybe she would go there. And he’d be waiting.
     Up off the cot, into the struggling light of the bar…it was time to get started.
     Well, soon.
     “Gimme one for the road, Duke.”

     “That was quite a poem, Jack. I’m pretty sure you meant the last line…”
     “Oh, hell yeah.”
     “…but that thing about the stars…you really meant that too?”
     Lin squirmed again and reached for her wine.
     “I do.” He paused. “Wow, I like those two words…”

     The blazing fire that would forge Ben into Binge, the flame that burned his life to the ground from inside…it started with just that spark. Something in Ben came unglued, and then it let go completely. He found a focus he’d never known before. He brought his right fist straight up between the boy’s arms, connecting solidly at the bottom of his chin with a sharp cracking sound.
     The boy didn’t just let Ben go. He didn’t just collapse to the asphalt. He almost died.
     Ben got expelled and caught more beatings at home, then he spent time in juvenile detention. And all the while, he had a dark smile deep inside. The fire had been lit, and he protected it and fanned it, coaxing it to grow. That fire made him feel whole. It pushed aside everything from that day with the witch. It grew into an inferno that carried him through life, causing fear in anyone that dared cross him.

     Lin looked down one last time at his snarling, frustrated face, and she turned and hurried through the room, grabbing her things. She pulled the door in and saw dents with thin red trails below them, and two unconscious men and scattered room service trays. A quiet closing of the door, a run down the hall and stairs, and she walked casually out into the Georgia heat.
     After the longest, slowest, most urgent walk of her life, Lin sat in her car, and she thanked God it had such dark windows. She knew Ben must be in her room by then and pissed off like never before. She started the car and moved to the parking lot next door, where she had a good view of the hotel entrance. She shook quietly and waited and watched.

     “Running isn’t your style, Lin. What else is going on?”
    Lin took a moment to let her breathing slow down. After letting out a deep breath, she continued.
     “Gabby, this mayhem! What exactly is that? I need to get that under control, even if I still don’t understand it. I can’t go through life like this – not knowing when I’m going to black out, and what damage that might do. Most of the time I think it’s some kind of mental illness, and I should get help.”
     “You’ll figure it out, Lin. I have no doubt. I’ll help you if I can.”
     “Thanks, Gabby, I know you will. And there’s another thing. I took on another case. A dangerous one. This guy has probably already killed someone. I’ve got tabs on him, and I know where he’ll be. I plan to grab him Sunday.”
     “Maybe you already have enough to deal with. You can pass on that assignment, can’t you? Why not try to enjoy what time you have here?”
     Lin stretched back in her wicker chair, arching her back, her white tank top straining. She always noticed the heads turning. She smiled through the tension.

     “Yes,” said John, “you said that. Settle down Tommy. Lady, we can’t get over Monday by that pond. It was the most amazing thing. You’re amazing! We had to find you. We had to.”
     “And we did find you. We did!” said Tommy, rocking to either side, peeking over his clapping hands. “Here we are, we’re here to see you!”
     “Easy Tommy, let the lady have a chance to speak, alright?”
    Lin looked from one to the other several times, and for once in her life, she had no idea what to say. John was taller, and his wire-frame glasses and short black hair made him look more serious than Tommy, who was chubby and short and nearly bald. Both wore toothy grins. John stood perfectly still, eyes wide, like he’d spied a bag of gold coins and was too shocked to pick it up. Tommy was agitated, gleeful even, eyes blinking rapidly, occasionally looking upward, as if thanking God for his great fortune.

    Just great, thought Lin. As if it weren’t bad enough that he wasn’t leaving town, now he’s on the loose with a gun. And of course, now it’s loaded too. He won’t be dry firing next time.
     Lin took a long look at the shop’s entrance in her rear view, and she reached down for her purse. She opened it, seeing it almost completely filled from the cuffs and a wad of cash. She sighed, dropped the purse and ran both hands down her sides, past her waist and down along her thighs, where she gave the hem of her skirt a quick pull. She shook her head and laughed – no room there either. Pepper spray would have to do. It had always been enough in the past.
     And now mayhem. Maybe mayhem would be enough. It did stop Ben…

    From thirty-plus years down the road, though, she could see that she’d never had any real intentions of marrying. Or raising a family, although she knew she’d never regretted having Taylor. She knew now that it was because of Ray. Or maybe not Ray exactly, but who she’d become to deal with Ray. And she didn’t mean just the grand finale in the kitchen.
     She’d forced herself to transform into someone or something that could take all that abuse. She’d made a conscious effort to channel all the horrendous feelings towards a single goal – to control Ray and to make him stop. The trauma stored up inside her, altering her, until the day when enough had built up, and it finally erupted.
     Lin wondered if that theory made any sense; but she had no other.
     She’d wanted to stay who she was and not let it affect her. But she was too young to understand how such trauma couldn’t not affect her.
     And now there she was, trying to understand herself. Trying to understand mayhem.
    The food arrived and the boys practically crawled onto their plates. Lin wondered if they’d eaten anything since Monday. Their burgers might as well have tossed into a wood chipper, and they both chugged their beers noisily.

     Their times together were always fantastic, though. They could talk for hours, they could steam up the bedroom, or they could just hug and cuddle and take a nap.
     Jack wanted more, but he knew he couldn’t push it. She’d make changes in her life in her own time. No one could ever rush her. He felt the challenge of trying to make it clear how he felt without trying to force a decision. He wanted badly to say “I love you,” but he knew that could squash his chances and scare her away.
     Or could she have been waiting to hear the words? Jack walked a very fine line. And this day he’d push that line. With a bold surprise.
     Poetry might be an unlikely tool for a man like him, but Jack struggled to put together simple verses whenever he thought she might accept them. The poems might rhyme, but they never said exactly what he wanted her to know. Maybe someday.

     “You both know you’re making a huge mistake, don’t you? I have a life to lead, and it doesn’t involve you two hanging around me all the time.”
     “We know you have a life. We just want to be part of it.”
     “Yes, part of your life, Lin. You and John and me, we can all do everything together.”
     “We’re not getting on a train. Or a bus,” said John with no hint of being humorous.
     At that moment, Lin’s biggest problem seemed to be John and Tommy. She knew she shouldn’t feel responsible for them, but in some strange way she did. She wondered if they were her fault. Did something really happen to them in Pennsylvania, something caused by mayhem?
     She studied them for a moment and saw that, despite their unkempt clothes and lack of hygiene the last few days, they were completely happy to be there, at that table with her. They seemed like lost puppies that had nowhere else to go. Her lost puppy posse.

     “That’s what I do, Gabby. That’s what the mayhem does.”
     “But Lin, in all these cases, weren’t you defending yourself? You might have teased Ben, but did that justify him attacking you?”
     “No, I guess not. But I don’t want to hurt people, Gabby. At least most of the time. I hate to admit it, but I was happy about that guy by the pond. He was a bastard and deserved more than that. And the guy in Erie too. What a piece of crap. If I had a chance to do it again, God knows what would become of them.”
     “Okay, that’s probably not a good idea. You’re not that kind of person, Lin. Do you think it might be possible to learn to control the mayhem? Maybe there’s a way that you could use just the right amount, without blacking out?”
     “That really seems impossible. Maybe I shouldn’t say I have mayhem inside me. I should say there’s mayhem inside and it has me.”
     “Have you ever tried to control it?”
     “No, I never have. I only try to stop it. It’s scary, Gabby. Controlling it seems impossible.”
     “Won’t know until you try, right? You might not be aware of how, but you’re limiting it, controlling it, even when you’re justifiably mad at someone. You’ve never killed anyone with it, have you?”
     “Not yet, Gabby. Not yet.”

     “I looked over and saw that you were asleep. So maybe it was nothing. Maybe nothing really happened. Just my imagination, right? But I sure felt different after that.”
     “Different how?”
     Ronnie hesitated.
     “I was still extremely attracted to you.”
     “That’s not a bad thing, is it?”
     “By itself, no.”
     “Well, what else was it then?”
     Ronnie paused even longer.
     “I was afraid of you too.”

    The stairs creaked even under Lin’s light steps as she made her way to Arnie’s second-floor office. A knock on the door generated a loud “Come on in.” Lin pushed the door open and stepped inside, her sharp heels clacking solidly on the weathered wood floor. She was a sight, and Arnaldo Maldonado grinned like a school boy watching her walk in.
     Arnie’s office had a single window facing east, and the blinds were up, letting bright rays have a chance at cheering up the room. But the room needed more help than that. Dusty file cabinets lined the wall to the left, and a couch past its prime sat off to the right. A slowly rotating ceiling fan trailed strands of spider webs that caught the sunlight on each trip around. Arnie’s desk faced the door, and sunlight bathed his balding head and sagging shoulders from behind as he looked up at Lin.
     “Hi, can I help you?”

     As the door slowly opened inward, Arnie got a bad feeling and reached for the pistol in his top right drawer. But the business end of a sawed-off shotgun quickly poked its way around the door, pointed directly at him. His hand froze midway to the drawer.
     His slowness sickened him. He should have had that piece out already. Instead, he only stared at the black barrel with his trembling hand hovering above the desk.
     The shotgun was followed by a clean cut, well-dressed man with piercing eyes who didn’t say a word. The gun had Arnie frozen to his seat.
     The shotgun man stepped into the dank office and moved to the side, letting Eugene “Doc” Lamont enter, before closing the door behind him. Doc stood tall in a thin white sport coat, black t-shirt and jeans. Arnie had seen photos of him, but he was surprised how delicate the man’s features appeared in person. He looked fragile. But his record said he was quite brutal.

     And then he kissed her. A long, deep kiss that took her breath away.
    Before she could speak or even catch her breath, he easily lifted her into his arms, kicked the door shut and carried her to the bed.
     Lin could just barely see that the covers had already been turned down. A bit presumptuous, she found herself thinking, but she quickly forgot that thought, and a smile took its place. A smile laced with lust.
     Before Lin had sunk completely into the cool sheets, Jack’s lips were again on hers. He kissed with more urgency after the heartfelt kiss at the door was behind them. Their animal needs could wait no more.

     She kissed him quickly and pulled back.
     “Jack, are you okay?”
     “What was…what just happened? How did you…”
     Jack was okay. A single fingertip on his lips silenced his voice.
     But not his eyes. Lin clearly saw adoration in his eyes, much more than ever before.
     And fear.
     Now, there was also fear.
     And the coldness Lin felt didn’t come from the dark room’s hold on them. It came from her calm realization that he wasn’t the same Jack as before she’d taken him.
     Jack had been touched by mayhem.

     “So it’s a weapon?”
     “Yeah, I guess. Or it can be.”
     “But all you did to Jack was increase his pleasure, right?”
     “Yep, but that was because of how I feel about Jack. Gabby, from in that space in between, God knows what I could do to someone.”
     “Yes, God knows alright.”
     Lin felt a chill run up her back.

     “What did you tell me, from the night with Jack, about the world? How did the world seem to you?”
     “Oh, Gabby, it was amazing. I could see, or feel, the world spreading to infinity in every direction.”
     “Seeing infinity is good, the world is definitely an incredible place. But there was something else about the world…”
     Lin thought Gabby was struggling to try to help, but she figured it wouldn’t hurt to consider that night more closely.
     Her breathing was really slow and deep. She’d tried to recreate that, but it didn’t work. What else…
     Then it was as if her eyes had been closed and suddenly snapped opened and she knew.
     “Gabby, there’s something else. When I saw the world, the real world, it was still. It was a calm surface. I didn’t see that just now with Jack.”
     “It was calm? Nothing about it was moving?”
     “No, it looked completely still.”
     “And when it worked, were you part of that stillness?”
     Again, Lin felt as if her eyes had been ripped open.

     She gave herself to the memory of how she’d felt that time in Jack’s room, with the mayhem rising. Her thoughts fell silent. With the memory came the feeling, and with the feeling, her breathing began to change…
     It was no longer her breathing. She watched the breathing become slower and deeper. And she held her thoughts back. She had only a simple intention: to feel the mayhem.
     She smiled, eyes half-closed, as the breathing slowed even more.
     No Jack would be part of it, and no pleasurable activity, but Lin still felt a subtle ecstasy begin to grow. She nurtured it with every breath, watching and waiting as it grew.
     As the pleasure rose up, Lin saw again that the world around her was calm. All her senses opened wide and she saw infinity in every direction, and she saw endless magic below. It was as it had been before, but this time she had no goals for it. She only witnessed it.
    Infinity in every direction. Crazy magic below.

     “I didn’t have too many friends in school, and I didn’t make an effort to keep up with anyone after my family moved back home. And wow, it’s been thirty years! I doubt we’ll recognize each other.”
     “If anything, you’re more beautiful now. They can all eat their hearts out.”
     “Oh, Jack. You’re sweet. I think we’ll have a great time tonight. And it’s at such a great place just up the road. If we drink too much, we can walk, or stagger, back to our room.”
     As they exited the car, Jack looked over to see Lin arching her back and gazing toward the sea, her legs bare and tanned from the Georgia sun. A soft ocean breeze toyed with her hair, bringing it to life. She interrupted his daydream when she turned to him and smiled.

     As Ben’s heavy boots dug into the grass, he felt a mix of resolve for the coming showdown and the excitement of setting his life back on track. There would be no turning back. And no questions. It would end right there and then.
     Ben turned the corner and stopped to look over the crowd. It took a moment for him to spot Lin, and the sight stole his breath away. She looked impossibly gorgeous, just like she’d been at age fifteen. When she messed him up. When his life changed.
     And he hesitated there, gazing at the beautiful witch that had ruined him.

     Jack stopped mid-sentence at seeing Lin staring past him in fear. He followed her gaze and saw the large, filthy man approaching their table. His decrepit appearance among all the well-dressed guests might have been comical if he hadn’t look so homicidal.
     Ben bumped into people and chairs as he plowed through the crowd while staring directly at Lin. If someone remained in his path, they regretted it.
     The man stood at least six inches taller than Jack, and his fists were clenched. He looked to be talking under his breath, and his bald head glistened in the hot sunlight.

     “I’m glad you stopped, and not just because you look so damn good. You should always feel comfortable being who you are.
     “And Lin, you must know that my feelings for you aren’t just because of how you look. You do know that, right?”
     “I hope so, Jack. Yeah, I guess I know that.” And she gave him a small smile, the first since they’d returned to his room.
     Jack smiled back and Lin’s heart wanted to speed up, but…
     “Of course, you are the hottest Cowgirl the world has ever seen.”
     “Oh, Jack…” There was barely any hesitation as he called her ‘Cowgirl,’ so little that she could ignore it, and Lin’s heart leapt as another smile lit her face.

     “You know, it sounds like you do know what to do. But only when you’re perfectly calm. You can learn to use it any time, I believe, if you can calm yourself when you need to.”
     “Like when someone’s trying to kill me? How is that even possible?”
     “No one can answer that for you, Lin. But I’m telling you it can be done.”
     “I hope you’re right, I really do. But there’s no way I can learn something like that soon enough.
     “And Jack. I’ve changed him, Gabby. He adores me, I have no doubt, but he’s afraid of me too. What a ridiculous relationship. I think he loves me more than ever.”

     “Do you have something you want to confess? There’s time – we can do that now if you’d like.”
     “No, not really. I admit, I was just hoping that I’d find an easy answer here. I’m not possessed. At least I don’t think I am. But something takes over, and I see the world in a different way. I can’t explain it, and I know it sounds crazy, but I can see that the world is magic.”
     “Well, of course it is Lin. All of God’s creation is something we can’t comprehend. Isn’t it good that you can see that?”
     “It’s not like that. It’s magic, and I can use it. At least one time it felt like I was using it.”

     “Why, whatever are you talking about? I’m just looking…”
     “Save it. I can spot a bounty hunter anywhere. Now get those pretty high heels walking back down the street. You don’t want any part of this guy, trust me.”
     By then Lin had studied the man fairly well. He was a little rough looking, but not like a criminal. His clothes were tasteful and his hair short and neat. And there was no sign of tattoos. His story was believable.
     She went through it all quickly in her mind. If she partnered with the guy, that would solve the issue of her not being registered. They could team up and split the reward. Easy.
     Plans had changed. Lin walked around to the driver’s side.
     “If he’s that bad, let’s team up and split it.”

     “So Doc, how you wanna play this?”
     There was a long pause. Lin dug her fingernails into the carpet at the calm silence of the two men.
     “Drive. South.”
     “Got it.
     “You just stay right where you are, lady. Do as you’re told and you might get through this. Pick your head up, or scream, or any other stupid shit, and I’ll put a hole in you right here,” and he tapped on her spine with the barrel. “It’d be a downright shame to mess up such a nice body.”
     Lin stayed quiet, contorted in a very unladylike way in the backseat of that old car as it headed south. Fear, embarrassment and anger consumed her, but not a single tear would drop.

     Lin’s last breath brought life deep within her, even during those final, hopeless moments. It gave her the strength to survive a few seconds longer, and for those seconds Lin looked inside. She studied her breath from every direction. From every possible angle. With every sense she had. Until she knew it intimately. Its shape and its color. Its flavor, its scent.
     Its calm silence.
     Its stillness.
     Yet it was only an ordinary breath. So commonplace. Just one of many.
     Her last.
     She felt a cold smile coming up from behind. Death’s eager arms began Lin’s final embrace.

     Then there was that night with Jack. She’d been so relaxed that…
     Lin stopped herself abruptly.
     She saw that all of that belonged in the past. Only the future mattered now. She’d learned to control her mayhem, and she could see infinity all around when wielding it. She felt she had no limits. Her future was infinity.
    She saw infinity, and she felt infinity. Infinity was now a part of her. And she wondered who that made her.
     “I’m Lin Finity…” she said aloud.

     Lin heard the door open all the way but no sound of footsteps. Jack must be standing there and staring, she thought. After a long moment, she heard cautious footsteps approaching, and the bed sagged under his weight.
     She didn’t feel Jack against her, so she knew he’d maintained a space between them. She could almost feel his reverence for her, that he wanted to be near, and that was enough. It was obvious that her body wasn’t the first thing on his mind.
     After several minutes, Lin felt Jack gently caressing her hair, brushing it back softly to avoid waking her. He seemed content with only that – just being near and touching her hair.
     Lin still only pretended to be asleep, and her heart melted from Jack’s innocent touch. She gave the impression of waking up, rolled over slightly, rewarding him with another memorable view, and looked into his eyes.

     “You killed a man.”
     “A bad man.”
     “Have you ever heard ‘thou shall not kill?’”
     “Gabby, you know the words are really thou shall not murder.’ And I didn’t murder. I killed a murderer…to save my own life. And that monster will never murder again.”
     “What happened to the other guy?”
     “I messed with his eyes. He’s not blind, but he’ll never be able to identify me.”
     “The perfect crime?”

     He slid the shot glass down the bar to get the third one on its way. Ben imagined how Lin’s life looked as he stared at his reflection in the mirror above the liquor bottles. Two drastically different lives.
     What a fool he’d been in high school, thinking he had any chance with her. She’d been better than him from the beginning. She never would have taken him seriously. And after that day with the big truck, he knew whatever slim chance he might have had to impress her was gone forever.
     The third shot finally put him in the zone, that place where he was happiest, where memories didn’t have such sharp edges. It was that comfortable space between the pain and outright numbness. From that spot he could ask himself the hard questions, and the answers wouldn’t hurt too much.

     She gathered her hair back over her shoulders and braced herself as she turned the knob. The door had opened only a few inches when a gigantic red snout pushed its way into the opening and forced the door all the way open. With a burst of thick red fur, her two-hundred-pound Tibetan Mastiff stood in the open doorway, reaching for her shoulders, then settling in to rest all of his bulk on her.
     “Nomad! Nomad! I’ve missed you so much!”
    It was all she could get out before Nomad’s huge tongue began washing her face clean of every trace of makeup. He leaned heavily on her, straining her legs, and she could feel his massive back paws alternating in attempts to climb up into her arms.
    “Okay, my big boy. Let me in. You must be hungry.”

     “I can tell you’re trying to keep me good, Gabby. Thanks for that.”
     “I’d rather you choose good, but it has to be your choice. I can’t make that choice for you.”
     “But there seems to be a fine line. Like if Ben attacks me again. Why shouldn’t I strike back? Wouldn’t I just be correcting some bit of evil in the world?”
     “Perhaps, but you must be absolutely sure of your decision. Be sure that you’re truly in danger. Otherwise, you risk becoming just another ‘bit of evil in the world.’”
     Lin was lost in thought as she put the phone down. She didn’t feel she’d ever used her power for anything but good. Everyone got what they deserved, including Ray. Especially Ray.
     And if somehow Ben showed up and tried to kill her there, where she lived, then he’d deserve whatever he got too.

     Memories of being afraid of her were so distant that they’d lost their meaning. That wasn’t fear, he reasoned. It must have been more like respect because of how much power she’d had over him. He felt helpless when she’d had him under her control, but that wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t bad at all. In fact, it turned out to be the best time of his life. He probably could have moved, but he really didn’t want to. He wanted her to have such power over him. That was true love…
     “No, miss, I’m not ready to order yet. Just a few more minutes, alright? But in the meantime, could you bring me a shot of whiskey on ice? Thanks.”
     Jack looked back down to see Lin walking toward the bar. She looked magnificent in a short black skirt and black top, black stockings and high heels, and her hair spilling all over her shoulders from under a simple blue beret. He could barely breathe watching her long, graceful strides. As if she owned the place.

     Lin sipped her margarita and looked around the room. Almost every one of her coworkers had arrived, and word had gotten out to some of her few friends too. The room was filling up, mostly with people she knew. All of the people there cared about her, but she didn’t want to see any of them. She had her entire life to sort out. Not one of them could help.
     She’d beaten back the feeling of annoyance, and she felt only a calm disinterest in the whole scene.
     This is what normal people do, she reminded herself. They get together and talk about mundane bits and pieces of their lives that don’t add up to anything. They don’t see the magic all around them. They’re absolutely blind.

    Lin no longer needed to catch and hold a breath to begin, but she did it anyway. She found it hard to resist the heavenly feeling of lingering on the cusp of magic.
     She drew in a deep breath and kept it. The air in her lungs was rich with magic, and it spread rapidly throughout her. She felt more alive with every moment, until she felt she’d burst out of her body’s limits. A soft green glow lit up her eyes.
     Then Lin understood. She was infinite. Her body, and the rest of the world, were only finite. How she longed for the freedom of infinity. So did everyone else, she knew. Every desire, every dream that anyone had – that was their hunger for the infinite. With every indescribable feeling they had from art, or religion, or love – they were being touched by infinity.
     But Lin could find infinity and become one with it.
     And from there, God, the things she could do…

     Lin brought the motor to life with a deep rumble. She watched as her friends and coworkers began swarming out of the restaurant, coming after her. They all smiled and chatted with each other, and Lin knew that their adoration of her would never end. They’d all be like John and Tommy. Forever.
     Jack remained silent, and Lin realized he must not have been affected by her mayhem. Otherwise, he’d have been giggling and fawning all over her. She wondered where he’d been – was he too far from her?
      Lin maneuvered the car around the restaurant, past the entrance jammed with the infatuated crowd and headed for Broadway. Before turning onto the road, she put the car in park and turned to Jack.
     “Jack, I can’t explain anything to you. About who I am. About what I am. Or about where I’m going.”
     “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I love you, Lin. No matter what. Wherever you’re going, I want to go too. Take me. Just take me, alright?”

     “Lin, I’ve never asked much from you, have I?”
     Not a word had been spoken as Lin raced west, hours after the sun had fled from the night. Gabby’s voice cut through the midnight silence. Infinity still called to Lin, but the heat of the moment, the fever she’d felt when leaving her life, had started to settle. Her eyes had returned to a normal green, but magic stirred just below the surface, forever ready to rise up if needed. She felt ready to contemplate her life.
     “No, Gabby, you really haven’t. All you’ve ever asked of me is that I choose to be good. You’ve been an amazing friend.”
     “Thank you. I’ve hoped to be a good friend too. But now I must ask something of you, Lin.”